Getting trapped in each others energy.
This is a conversation I had with a friend this morning. When we get into an intimate relationship with someone, if we connect on an energetic level we can get trapped in each others energy fields.
I have come to understand through my womb clearing and Yoni healing journey I have been on this year, just how much energy our bodies take on from a partner who connects into us physically. For men this is normally just kept to a physical nature even though they too pick up the emotional residue of their partner. For a woman however we can easily become energetically bound to that partner and thus him to us if we are strong enough to slay his spirit. Most of us do this without even knowing that is what we are doing.
I am on a 31 day fast from Mr. Beautiful Crazy.
I needed to break the energetic connection him and I share. I am one of those women that have slain his spirit and he doesn't even know it. And if he does know it and is okay with it, I am not.
You see when people share energy, they share everything in their collective consciousness. That means you can begin to create each others dreams, or nightmares if thats where the combined energy is at, Thankfully our energy is with the creating stage.... however what we are creating I am not sure if it is at my liking.
Cutting cords with each other and communications and astral ties has proven to be very effective even within these first four days. It's hard not having his physical presence to rely on for a dumping ground for my feelings to be numbed back into blissful sedation by the man I love deeply. It's hard coming to these hard truths that his words say he wants to be just friends but my actions keep taking us further into things. Its hard knowing his energy loves my energy but his physical body does not love mine.
These are only truths that I can see once I step away from the addiction.
There is a fine line between obsession and Love. There is a fine line between having your energy tied to another for profit or pain. These are such subtle influences that one rarely notices the shifting point at all. I remember an experience I shared with a friend once who just found out the love of her heart had slept with another woman. Her deeply heart wrenching sobs after a few moments shifted to a cry of desperation and growing void of feeling. She shut herself down mid cry and from that point on the relationship became one of creating each others nightmares.
We share each others energies when we become intimate with each other. We lock into each other on a deeper connection when we open up to each other. And even deeper still when we become entirely vulnerable to another we meld with that energy and make it our own.
The Energy that Crazy and I share is one of friendship. He wants it to stay at a friendship and my energy is and always has been much further then that, or better said on an entirely different track then that. He has been willing to give up the friendship several time to hold his place in the friendzone and has tolerated and even went along with all my fantasies of us becoming more. It's time I let that go now.
I have no desire to let his friendship go but I shall put up boundaries and move him back into the place he chooses to be and that is just friends. I must accept this. I must let go of his energy and let him move into the life he desires for himself and I must move into the life I wish for myself. I need to not re-attach his energy after it has been severed.
This is going to probably be one of the hardest things for me to do in my adult years. Letting go of the last of my addictive patterns and obsessive natures. Good bye to chaining a man..... Hello to inviting one in instead.
Follow the White Rabbit....