I am not sure if it is the Mars retrograde or the letting go of what I thought was to be a grande love that is bringing my heart into a space of grieving today.
So much is happening in the field of twin flame love and connections. I can barely keep up with it myself. I see now that I have created the infamous threesome of the story book fairy tale loves.
Between my twin soul, Mr. beautiful Crazy and My prince Charming riding up on his ancient steed.
I have recently removed as much as I could about Ancient Steed from my blog because he upset me greatly this past few weeks, but I see only today that it wasn't upset that motivated me, it was fear of who he was going to become in my story and I cant see how he fits in to it yet.
You see my twin Flame, Merlin, is becoming nothing more then the man who ignited me to the idea that there was something so much greater out there then what I was settling for in the land of romance and love. I have held on to him for so long that I have created a fantasy that is not sustainable in this reality. .............. Could I recreate it if I wanted to? You betchya I could, but I know from experience when I force the universe into a path, it never works out in my favor. And that is what I have been doing with this blog... trying to draw out my Flame.
So one: It is time for me to let go of Merlin. As much as he will always be in the picture and truly I have no idea what the future holds, he must leave my heart and consciousness for this moment in time. This must happen if I am to clear the way for something to occur in this very moment. Merlin is not in my moment. He is a past story and a future dream, but not a present moment love affair.
Two: I must also clear my Twin Soul, Mr. Beautiful crazy as well. This is where the true grieving is coming into play and the grande cosmic threesome of the Little Red Riding Hood Story. I must make a choice if I am too embrace my present moment.
I recently made a choice and I thought it had stuck but in truth I went through the motions but did not actually declare what I wanted because I did not know and to be frank... I still do not know.
I love Mr.Beautiful Crazy beyond any male I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Yet he still holds firm to the notion we are nothing more the best friends, cosmic brothers and sisters if you will. This tears me up inside because I could easily spend the rest of my life with him, and I could enjoy showering all my love, all over him. And in truth that is what he has been accepting from me ....but not giving back.
And there in lies my grief. Even with my Soul I am still compromising myself.
Yet, with My prince Charming who has rode up on his ancient steed I am not compromised. At all.
I have known this man for a few years now and he has patiently waited for me to be ready to receive him. As I force myself into a box to receive the Twin Flame and Soul, I am shown how easy it is to flow with Prince Charming. He buys me flowers and my daughter chocolates.... He serenades me with songs of my heart... he is patient with my crazy but strong in his convictions. He is brave and takes care of me well.
This is the choice I now have to make. It is no longer between my Flame and Soul.... it is about moving out of my spiritual play and into the real game of life here on Earth.
This is about making it real.
Letting go of the notions and the stories we tell ourselves to help us feel special in love. Letting go of the labels and concepts that help us define romance so we know we are on the right track. Letting go of the outcome so that we can be free to flow with what is presented in the moment to us.
I must let go of both my Flame and my Soul, in order to receive an earth angel to connect me to my life purpose here in this moment. It feels weird to write that ......like it goes against everything I know and believe in, but it feels right. I look at successful people in this world and they all see to have one thing in common.... they play the game of LIFE.... not the game of angels and demons.
The game of Angels and demons is for the people who cant handle the truths of this world. I feel I am moving from one category to the other.
So in learning this about my path and purpose I am grieving my fantasy. I know it will only be a short grieving process as the game of life can be so much more grande then the game of illusion. I am truly ready to let my Prince Charming sweep me off my feet and carry me into this world full of challenges and great rewards!
For my prince is truly sexy as hell!!
Follow the White Rabbit....